Self-Love for Women

Self-Love for Women

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When you hear self-love, what comes to mind? For some women, self-love is a foreign concept. Some women struggle to feel worthy of even starting to learn to love themselves. Events such as early childhood trauma and growing up in invalidating environments can cause people to internalize the belief that their feelings and thoughts do not matter.

Even just thinking about self-love sometimes triggers uncomfortable memories and emotions from the past. It may remind us of times when we felt unloved or received messages that we were not good enough. These shame-based messages can paralyze us, quickly shutting down our efforts to grow in self-love. 

It becomes essential for us to explore those fears and deeper blocks, as they may present barriers on our journeys. If strong feelings and memories become triggered in doing this work, you might find it immensely helpful to connect with a mental health provider, or get support from a trusted friend or loved one.

In this article, we will also evaluate where you are in your self-love journey and reflect on your goals for the workbook mentioned below. The below-mentioned exercises are adaptable and can be used in any order that works for you.

Related: 55 Positive Affirmations for Women


  • What would I like to receive from this workbook (for example personal growth, inner peace, self-confidence, healthier relationships)?


  • How will this look in my daily life (for example: “I will set aside 10 minutes every day to practice some form of self-love”)?
  • When will I know that I have reached my goals?


  • What barriers might be present for me in practicing self-love (internal and external)?


  • Who can support me on my journey toward self-love (it’s okay to include pets, too!)?


Let’s dig a little deeper with the following quiz to learn more about where you stand with self-love.  After  each statement, circle the number that applies to you:

  • 0 = never
  • 1 = rarely
  • 2 = sometimes
  • 3 = frequently
  • 4 = most often
  • 5 = always
  1. I believe that my feelings are valid.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I think my needs and wants are just as important as those of others.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I can effectively make requests or ask for what I need.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I enjoy spending time alone.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I can easily list five things I like about myself.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I do not say negative things to myself.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I talk to myself like I would my best friend or partner.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I like to take risks and go outside of my comfort zone.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I can make decisions that others might disagree with.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I take time to exercise several times a week.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I eat foods that help nourish my body.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I try new things and meet new people.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I am okay if someone disagrees with me.

0 1 2 3 4 5

  • I would be comfortable seeing a movie or eating at a sit-down restaurant alone.

0 1 2 3 4 5


Look over your responses to the statements in this quiz. Notice what numbers you tend to choose as a rating. Do you have mostly lower numbers (0–2) or higher numbers (3–5)? Which areas do you feel good about?  Do you see any patterns or specific areas that you could develop, improve upon, or focus on throughout the workbook?

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” —LAO-TZU


As a teenager, I used to love making mixtapes with some of my favorite songs. I recall one cassette (yes, cassette) I labeled “Power to Women.” Why not make your playlist of songs that inspire self-love—your soundtrack? Try playing the music in the background while completing your workbook, or when you just need a pick-me-up. Music can be a powerful tool to inspire you and improve the moment.

Here are some possible fun songs to include in your playlist:

  • “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor
  • “Fight   Song” by Rachel Platten
  • “Girl   On Fire” by   Alicia Keys
  • “I’m   Every   Woman” by Chaka   Khan
  • “Respect” by Aretha Franklin
  • “Beautiful” by Christina   Aguilera
  • “Just Fine” by Mary J. Blige
  • “Born this   Way” by Lady Gaga
  • “Juice,” “Good   as Hell,” or others by Lizzo
  • “9 to 5” by Dolly   Parton

Write down some songs for your power playlist here:

1. —————————————————————————–

2.   —————————————————————————–

3. —————————————————————————–

4. —————————————————————————–

5.   —————————————————————————–

6. —————————————————————————–

7. —————————————————————————–

8. —————————————————————————–

9.   ————————————————————————

10. —————————————————————————-


Affirmations can be an excellent tool to start training your mind to think positive thoughts about yourself.   They work best when they are simple, believable, and relatable.  They also may feel awkward to say at first— but with practice, you are cementing the message into your psyche. What you say becomes your truth.

Look into the mirror every morning and try saying at least one affirmation aloud.  Here are a few examples that you can use as practice. Even better, add your personalized affirmations in the blank spaces below.

  • I am worthy of love and belonging.
  • Loving myself is as important as loving others.
  • It is okay to ask for what I need and want.
  • My feelings are valid.
  • There is no right or wrong way to feel.
  • I can get my needs met and not feel selfish.


Think back to the earliest time you struggled with feeling unworthy. Describe your experience in the space provided. Feeling creative? You can even draw a picture of the situation in the box.



Describe a time when you recently experienced self-love. What was happening? What thoughts did you have about yourself?  What did it feel like to have these positive feelings toward yourself?


If you had to talk to a younger version of yourself, what would you say to her? Would you tell her not to worry so much about what everyone else thought and focus more on things that mattered to her? Fill in the conversation bubble below with what you would say.

Also Read: Love Your Ordinariness

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