Self-Sabotages: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Sabotage in Your Life

Self-Sabotages: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Sabotage in Your Life

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When you’re feeling down or stressed out, you might sabotage yourself by engaging in negative thoughts and actions. Learn how to break free from these destructive habits of self-sabotages!

Related: The Power of Confidence

Source: Einzelgänger

Table of Contents

Self Sabotage Definition & Causes

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut? You know what you should be doing but you just don’t seem to have the motivation to change? It could be because you’ve been sabotaging yourself. Learn more about self-sabotage and how to break free!

Self Sabotage Definition & Causes

Self-sabotage is when we try to avoid something that we want by making ourselves feel bad about wanting it. For example, if you want to lose weight, you might tell yourself that you’re too fat to exercise. Or if you want to quit smoking, you might convince yourself that you’re addicted to cigarettes.

What Is Self Sabotage?

To understand why people, engage in self-sabotage, we need to first define it. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), self-sabotages are actions taken by an individual to harm him/herself. These actions are done intentionally and without regard for others’ well-being. People who engage in self-sabotage often do so because they believe that they deserve to suffer.

In self-sabotage, we intentionally harm our health, well-being, or success by undermining our personal goals and values (Brenner, 2019). Berg (2015) describes it as “insidious, profound, and universal” and emanates from negative mindsets.

Self-saboteurs often do things that make them feel worse than they would otherwise. They might eat foods that aren’t good for them, drink alcohol excessively, or spend money they don’t have. They also tend to blame themselves for whatever happens to them. If they fail at school, they’ll say that they didn’t study enough; if they don’t get along with their friends, they’ll think that they’re not friendly enough.

Why Does Self Sabotage Happen?

There are several reasons why people engage in self-sabotage. Sometimes, people who are depressed or anxious will try to cope by acting out. This is called “acting out.” Other times, people who are feeling overwhelmed will try to escape those feelings by distracting themselves. This is called “distraction.” Finally, some people use self-sabotaging behaviors as a form of punishment. They may act out when they feel guilty about something else. Or they may distract themselves when they feel angry.

How to Break Free from Self Sabotage?

If you find yourself struggling with self-sabotage, there are some things you can do to help yourself.

  1. First, identify the behaviors that lead up to your self-sabotaging behavior. Once you’ve identified these triggers, you’ll be able to avoid them.
  2. Next, learn to recognize when you’re feeling down or depressed. This will allow you to take steps to prevent yourself from engaging in self-sabotage.
  3. Next, seek out support from friends and family members. They can provide encouragement and support as you work through your struggles.
  4. One way is to make sure you have enough sleep each night. Sleep deprivation has been linked to increased levels of stress hormones, which can cause you to engage in self-destructive behaviors.
  5. Another way to stop self-sabotage is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness helps you become aware of your thoughts and feelings without reacting to them. By practicing mindfulness, you can gain control over your emotions and actions.

5 Reasons Why We Self-Sabotaging

What if we could stop self-sabotaging our own lives? In this article, I’ll share five reasons why we do so.

5 Reasons Why We Self-Sabotaging

The way we think about ourselves affects how we behave in life. This article will explore the five most common causes of self-sabotage.

The first step in overcoming self-sabotage is understanding that it exists. Once you understand how it works, you can start to change your behavior.

We’re afraid of change.

Change is scary because it means we might not know what’s going to happen next. It also means we might lose something familiar. If we’re afraid of losing control, then we might try to hold onto things that no longer serve us.

We don’t know how to ask for what we want.

We often don’t know how to say what we need. Also, we don’t know how much we should ask for, or when to ask for it. And we also don’t know whether we should ask at all. We don’t know what will happen if we ask.

We’re afraid of rejection.

We fear rejection because we think we won’t be good enough. We worry that people will reject us, or that we’ll fail. Often we worry that others will judge us negatively. We worry that we’ll lose face. And we worry that we won’t measure up.

We’re afraid of being vulnerable.

It’s easy to see how these fears manifest themselves in our daily lives. They cause us to avoid certain situations, not ask for what we need, and to sabotage ourselves when we feel like we’re failing.

We’re afraid of success.

If we’re afraid of failing, then we’re also likely to fear success as well. Success means being able to handle failure. It’s scary to think about what might happen if we fail at something. So we sabotage ourselves by avoiding trying new things.

Self-sabotage in relationships

The following behaviors are examples of relational sabotage:

  1. Ignoring negative emotions
  2. Criticizing your partner
  3. Holding grudges
  4. Directing energy at things other than the relationship
  5. Focusing on your partner’s flaws

Self-sabotage in work

Career sabotage includes:

  1. Disorganization
  2. Indecisiveness
  3. Perfectionism
  4. Procrastination
  5. Imposter syndrome

10 Ways to Overcome Self Sabotage in Your Life

You may have heard about self-sabotage before but did you know there are practical ways to stop it from happening? In this article, we’ll look at ten tips on how to stop self-sabotaging.

Self-sabotage is when someone deliberately tries to harm themselves to avoid facing an issue that they’re afraid of dealing with. It’s a form of emotional avoidance.

When you feel bad, you often think that there must be something wrong with you. But this isn’t true. It’s just part of being human.

Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotages #1: Identify The Root Cause of Your Stress.

If you’re constantly stressing out, it’s likely because you’ve identified an underlying cause. You need to figure out what’s causing you stress so you can address it.

Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotages #2: Understand That You Can’t Control Everything.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you think about everything you have to do. However, there’s no point in trying to control every aspect of your life. Instead, focus on doing one thing at a time. This will help you stay organized and focused.

Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotages #3: Recognize That Negative Thoughts Are Not Reality.

If you find yourself thinking negatively, try to recognize that those thoughts aren’t real. You can’t control what happens outside of you, so why let your mind control you inside? Focus on positive things instead.

Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotages #4: Accept Responsibility for Your Actions.

It’s easy to blame others when something goes wrong. However, there’s no one else responsible for your actions except you. So take responsibility for your own mistakes and failures.

Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotages #5: Take Action to Change Your Thinking and Behaviors.

If you find yourself blaming others for your problems, try changing your thinking. Instead of focusing on what others did or didn’t do, focus on what you can control. You can also learn new ways to cope with stress and anxiety.

Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotages #6: Be aware of your triggers.

If you notice yourself doing something that makes you feel bad, then you might be self-sabotaging. This could be anything from eating too much chocolate cake to binge-watching Netflix.

Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotages #7: Don’t let yourself get caught up in the moment.

It’s easy to get carried away with what you’re doing when you’re having fun, especially if you’ve been feeling down. However, if you find yourself getting into trouble because you’re enjoying yourself, then you need to take a break.

Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotages #8: Take action.

If you feel like you’re going to do something bad, just stop! Don’t let yourself go any further than that. If you want to do something, make sure you tell yourself why you should not do it.

Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotages #9: Don’t let yourself get into a negative mindset.

It’s easy to fall into a negative mindset when you start thinking negatively about yourself. This will lead to self-doubt and eventually self-sabotage. Instead, try to think positively and remind yourself of what you’ve accomplished so far.

Ways to Overcome Self-Sabotages #10: Know Yourself Better

If you’re feeling down, ask yourself why. Is it because you feel bad about something you’ve done? Or do you just feel sad because you haven’t achieved anything yet? Either way, it’s important to understand why you feel the way you do. Once you do, you can work towards changing those feelings.

Books on the Topic of self-sabotage

  1. Stop Self-Sabotage: Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower, and Get Out of Your Way – Judy Ho
  2. Your Self-Sabotage Survival Guide: How to Go from Why Me? Why Not? – Karen Berg
  3. Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It – Ethan Kross
  4. Opening Up by Writing It Down: How Expressive Writing Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain – James W. Pennebaker and Joshua M. Smyth

3 Interesting Podcasts on the Topic self sabotages

  1. Purposeful Social Selling, Episode 3. Sneaky Types of Self-Sabotage
  2. Crappy to Happy Podcast
  3. The Self-Sabotage to Success Podcast

Relevant Resources

To help clients overcome self-sabotaging tendencies, check out these resources:

Reward Replacement Worksheet

The worksheet helps clients identify the negative consequences of the reward behaviors they use to reward themselves and select positive reward behaviors to replace them.

Self-Directed Speech Worksheet

This worksheet helps clients motivate lasting behavior change by mobilizing their inner voice during challenging times.

My Positive Qualities

The purpose of this worksheet is to encourage a group of participants to recognize and explore positive personal qualities using twelve different fill-in-the-blank statements.

Dispute Negative Thinking

By writing common self-critical thoughts on cards and practicing disputing them quickly, clients gain some distance from their inner critic.

17 Self-Compassion Exercises

You’ll find 17 validated self-compassion tools in this collection if you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others develop self-compassion. You can use them to help others develop kinder, more nurturing relationships with themselves.

Buy Now, Here.

Self-Sabotage FAQs

Self Sabotaging Relationships / Self Sabotaging a Relationship

There are many reasons for sabotaging relationships, but understanding the origins is crucial for change.

Sabotage in relationships can take many forms, including choosing incompatible partners, picking fights, and not fully committing.

Unrealistic expectations, chronic mistrust, silencing your voice, and losing yourself in the relationship are also signs. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is an effective strategy for dealing with relationship issues (Williams, 2017).

Self-Sabotages/ Self-Sabotaging

A self-sabotaging mindset includes negativity, disorganization, indecision, and negative self-talk. Self-sabotage is also characterized by perfectionism and imposter syndrome. The act of engaging in mindless distractions that prevent goal achievement is a form of self-sabotage that is insidious and ubiquitous.

Self Sabotaging Behavior

Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting.

Why Do I Keep Self-Sabotaging Myself?

One of the key reasons people self-sabotage is a lack of self-esteem. This can have many different causes, but the effects are the same: feelings of worthlessness or incompetence, the belief that you don’t deserve success, and even self-hatred.

Self-destructive vs Self-sabotaging

Self-destructive behavior is when you repeatedly do things that will harm you physically, mentally or both. It can range from mild to life-threatening. If you think you’re engaging in self-destructive behavior, you probably are. You don’t have to live this way. You deserve better.

Self-sabotage is often driven by negative self-talk, where you tell yourself that you’re inadequate, or unworthy of success. You find yourself thinking things like, “You can’t do that!” “You don’t deserve that.” “If you try, you’ll probably just fail anyway.”

Someone Who Self-Sabotages

Self-sabotage is often driven by negative self-talk, where you tell yourself that you’re inadequate, or unworthy of success. You find yourself thinking things like, “You can’t do that!” “You don’t deserve that.” “If you try, you’ll probably just fail anyway.”

Self-sabotaging help books

  1. The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery (Kindle Edition) by Brianna Wiest (Goodreads Author) (shelved 3 times as self-sabotage)
  2. Many Roads to Home Many Roads to Home (Kindle Edition) by Kaya LaSalle (shelved 1 time as self-sabotage)
  3. Beyond the Blue Beyond the Blue (eBook) by T.J. O’Shea (Goodreads Author) (shelved 1 time as self-sabotage)
  4. Borrowed Hearts (WaterColor Romance #2) Borrowed Hearts (WaterColor Romance #2) by Jenn Bridges (shelved 1 time as self-sabotage)
  5. Finding Her Heart Finding Her Heart (Kindle Edition) by Samantha Hicks (Goodreads Author) (shelved 1 time as self-sabotage)
  6. Speechless Speechless(Kindle Edition) by Mardria Portuondo (shelved 1 time as self-sabotage)
  7. Missed Connection (A Gia, San Francisco Romance, Book 2) Missed Connection (A Gia, San Francisco Romance, Book 2) by Stephanie Shea (Goodreads Author) (shelved 1 time as self-sabotage)

Download A Few Useful Self-Sabotage Guides Here

Also Read: Mindfulness for ADHD: The Eight-Step Program

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